The issue is not the issue

"What causes fights and quarrels among you?

Who are you arguing with and what's the issue?

The issue is not the issue.

It's not about the issue when it escalates into a war; it's about your heart and your selfish desires.

Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?"

James says that the cause of arguments is conflicting desires.

When my desires/wants conflict with your desires/wants chances are I'm going to say something with my tongue that will cause sparks to fly and burn a great forest down!

"You want what you don't have ... you long for what others have ..."

Have you ever fought that battle inside, you know, the one where you see something and you can't get it off your mind? I've got to have it!

If I just had it, my world would be great!

Things are not bad in themselves, God created things to be used and to enjoy. But when we start loving things over people we end up using people -- manipulating them, controlling them, and moving them around to get what we want because things become more important.

Why do you think people argue about money in marriage?

Money is not the issue; the issue is conflicting desires over what we want.

"... you want only what will give you pleasure"

If you're like me, you want to feel good, be comfortable, to have your senses satisfied, right? Is that wrong?

It's not wrong to enjoy life. 1 Timothy 6:17 "God made everything for our enjoyment."

But when pleasure
becomes the ^#1 goal -- you're asking for conflict.

When I'm more interested in my
comfort than yours and all I think about is what makes me feel good, there's going to be a fight!

Why do you think people argue about sex in marriage?

The desire for pleasure is strong.

When it is thwarted, resentment builds up and sooner or later there's going to be an explosion!

So, What causes fights and quarrels among you?