I’m not going to kill them?

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? ² You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.

Look at the highlighted words in those verses.

What is the first thing that comes to mind?

War, murder, fights, quarrels; strong language, huh?

Maybe you're thinking those verses don't apply to me because "I'm just having a disagreement, not sure you would even call it an argument; I'm certainly not going to kill them."

But, have you set a spark that might burn down a great forest; is the little leading to the big?

Wars don't just happen over night; they start little and grow.

Gregory Stanton, the founder of Genocide Watch says there are 8 stages that lead to genocide.

• Distinguish – There is a division that happens. Is your desire to win the argument causing a divide in your relationship? Is it becoming "us against them"?
  
• Classify - Is there enough of a divide that you've given them a name? You know, you refer to them as a "_________" to describe the division.
  
• Dehumanize – Then we start to describe them in terms that are not human – a plaque, cancer, dog, anything that might equate them with animals, vermin, insects or diseases.
  
• Organize – We form our support groups against them. Think of how many people you are trying to get to see your side of the argument.
  
• Polarize – The argument might have started over a minor issue, but now you start focusing on the extreme elements of your division.
  
• Preparation – Battle plans are drawn. We are going to "war".
  
• Extermination – You destroy the others. The world is better off!
  
• Denial – You deny that it ever happened, that they existed.
  

Does that change you perspective on the situation? Where are you headed, to war?

Jesus said "For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery,…"

James' point: you need to get a "new heart"!

The issue is not the issue

"What causes fights and quarrels among you?

Who are you arguing with and what's the issue?

The issue is not the issue.

It's not about the issue when it escalates into a war; it's about your heart and your selfish desires.

Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?"

James says that the cause of arguments is conflicting desires.

When my desires/wants conflict with your desires/wants chances are I'm going to say something with my tongue that will cause sparks to fly and burn a great forest down!

"You want what you don't have ... you long for what others have ..."

Have you ever fought that battle inside, you know, the one where you see something and you can't get it off your mind? I've got to have it!

If I just had it, my world would be great!

Things are not bad in themselves, God created things to be used and to enjoy. But when we start loving things over people we end up using people -- manipulating them, controlling them, and moving them around to get what we want because things become more important.

Why do you think people argue about money in marriage?

Money is not the issue; the issue is conflicting desires over what we want.

"... you want only what will give you pleasure"

If you're like me, you want to feel good, be comfortable, to have your senses satisfied, right? Is that wrong?

It's not wrong to enjoy life. 1 Timothy 6:17 "God made everything for our enjoyment."

But when pleasure
becomes the ^#1 goal -- you're asking for conflict.

When I'm more interested in my
comfort than yours and all I think about is what makes me feel good, there's going to be a fight!

Why do you think people argue about sex in marriage?

The desire for pleasure is strong.

When it is thwarted, resentment builds up and sooner or later there's going to be an explosion!

So, What causes fights and quarrels among you?

Questions

I spent most of the morning with 16, 17, & 18 year olds who lost a friend named Trey in an auto accident on Saturday night.

As I spent time with them I was trying to recall how I felt nearly 30 years ago when a close friend of mine, Trey Jackson, was killed in a car wreck a block from his house.

A little over a year later my father passed away at the age of 46, I was 19.

What was I feeling?
What was going through my head at the time?

At that age death is tough, there are so many questions.

What about at your age?

What are your questions?

Are you looking for answers?

I think most of us don't bother.

Today I was reminded of Colossians 3:1 "You have been raised to life with Christ. Now set your heart on what is in heaven, where Christ rules at God's right side."

The phrase "set your hearts on" means a search or quest. The same word is used in the search for the lost sheep Matt 18:12), the lost coin ((Luke 15:8), the merchant looking for the pearl (Matt 13:45).

If that's the case, shouldn't we be on a diligent, active, single-minded search for Christ and Heaven?

Seek and you shall find…

Simple thought…

¹⁶For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.  ¹⁷But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. ¹⁸Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. James 3:16-18

Just a simple thought to "chew on" today?

Do my words divide people, or do they bring them together?

• Evil – Devil – Diablo = to separate, to throw across, to divide
  
• Peace – Shalom = wholeness, complete, unity
  

If my words show my heart…where am I?

Watch your…

Sorry for no post yesterday, I had the opportunity to practice
not boasting, in the most tempting of all circumstances! I spent the day riding over to St. Augustine with some awesome guys who are pastors and then sitting in a "huddle" with other pastors who are just starting small groups in their churches. Just trust me; I was being convicted of my pride all day!

How'd you do?

You know the game the "Tongue is Hell Fire". Did you try?

If you tried, you burnt up didn't you? Knew you would, that was the intent. You can't do it (James' words not mine).

"All kinds of animals birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue.

As hard as we try we can't tame the tongue. That's the problem; all of our lives we have been told to watch our words, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all", right?

Jesus says In Matt 15 "Are you being willfully stupid? Don't you know that anything that is swallowed works its way through the intestines and is finally defecated? But what comes out of the mouth gets its start in the heart. It's from the heart that we vomit up evil arguments, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, lies, and cussing. That's what pollutes."

He is saying don't watch your words, watch your heart!

James says
"If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check."
James first reminds us that we ALL stumble, so we are not perfect, then he says it takes a perfect man to tame the tongue. There is only one perfect man, his name is Jesus.

So here's the question…have you spent all of your life trying to control your tongue? It's kind of like the game, it's pointless!

"For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."
Matt. 12:34

Turn your heart over to the perfect one and watch the words flow out of your mouth!

Game – Tongue is Hell Fire!

³When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. ⁵Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

Your tongue can take you places! Think about how far you can go if you are an eloquent person – President; sing & write lyrics – make you millions; or a few simple words can bring you fame – "Pants on the ground".

Or, it can light a fire. Harry Reid, the senator from Nevada, spoke a few misplaced words and his life has been dominated by them for weeks.

A well placed compliment can create a friend, get you a date, find you a spouse, or get you a job!

Too foolish a word and you can destroy a friendship.

Our tongue can make people feel great, feel bad, can burn your house down!

One careless word can have disastrous consequences!

Last week John Thayer posted an event on FB called "The Floor is Lava", where any indoor, non-removable floor is lava. If you step on the lava, you're out. Whoever makes it the whole day without stepping on the lava, wins.

So I suggested we play a similar game, since our tongue is so powerful and has the ability to cause great destruction, it's called "The Tongue is Hell Fire!"

Here are the rules:

• Do not complain or grumble
  
• Do not Boast
  
• Do not gossip or spread bad info about someone
  
• Do not run someone down
  
• Do not defend or excuse yourself
  
• Always affirm other people
  

See how long you make it today before you set something on fire!

Silver-tongue ______________

We all stumble in many ways. (James 3:2a)

Everybody messes up…you may not struggle with pride, but maybe its lust for you; not lust, but maybe in faith; not _______, but ________.

What is it for you?

James is again reminding us "Don't get arrogant!"

Why, isn't this about our tongues, our words, our speech?

He's about to confront arrogance head on! Don't we think we have mastered our tongues because we are able to control others by the use of it?

Has God gifted you with a "silver tongue"? Can you get people to do what you want with your words?

If so, where does that take you?

Does it lead you towards more status, more power, more possessions, more pleasures, more pride?

Do you see it? He is so crafty…he gets us to think that because we can control others with our words we are some how better than them; we are in control of our lives; we're good!

But, are we?

If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check." (James 3:2b)

James is saying you maybe able to control others with your words, but you can't control your own desires.

"You silver-tongue devil, we all stumble…"